Make Money Online for Beginners

Make Money Online for Beginners

So you heard that you can make a bazillion dollars on the internet. Like me, you have probably spent a goodly amount of money pursuing this goal. Like me, you probably haven’t made much, probably haven’t even broke even yet.
When I started everything was just wonderful; one website after another promised me that if I bought their program and followed their instructions the money would start rolling in. Naturally I bought the program ( how to build a website was the first I think ), maybe $97 – don’t remember now, and quickly learned enough html to build a crappy looking site. Before long I found out I could spend even more money and just buy templates which were at least slightly less crappy looking than my own. I’ve forgotten how much my first templates cost but I have since spent even more money on even better crappy templates. My website has gotten less crappy looking in direct proportion to my emptying wallet.
So, templates installed I sat back and waited for the cash to roll in. My get rich scheme of choice was selling Ebooks and of course the ever popular Adsense. The Ebooks explained to other soon to be rich internet marketers how selling Ebooks on the net would make them rich. The Ebooks were supplied by the guy I bought my first crappy templates from. He assured me that I could re-sell his books and make a killing. I assured my visitors that they could make a killing selling Ebooks just like me if they bought my Ebook. This is what is known as affiliate marketing – a surefire scheme for making money online without doing any actual work. I would make 50 percent a sale, maybe 60 percent, can’t remember but it doesn’t matter as I never sold a single Ebook. Didn’t make a dime on the Adsense thing either. Apparently you can set up a crappy looking website and stock it with surefire Ebooks and nicely displayed Adsense ads and still not make money! The problem seemed to be that nobody bothered to search out my website from a small pool of 2 billion or so other crappy websites selling Ebooks and displaying Adsense ads.
Sheesh… what gives. This was supposed to be easy. Well not being the type of loser who gives up quickly or cheaply I decided that I just had to spend even more money and pay Google to place ads all over the cyber world which would direct all the would be Ebook buyers and Adsense clickers to my crappy little site. This is known as Adwords advertising and near as I can tell Google makes about a gazillion dollars off this gimmick from get rich quick guys like me. I couldn’t have spent more than say $1000 but by gosh it worked! Suddenly I had people browsing my site – yahoo – oops I mean Google! Yup, my $1000 brought me at least a couple hundred people which worked out to about $5 a head. The only problem was that these people didn’t understand the concept of clicking on my Adword ad in order to come to my crappy little site and give me money. The buggers simply stopped by and then left. Fortunately 2 of them clicked on one of my adsense ads and Google kindly reimbursed me 3 cents for my trouble. This was great as it lowered my investment in this get rich quick enterprise to $999.97 which made me feel loads better.
Half assed losers would have quit by now. Not me though… this had become a challenge and I was bound and determined to prove that I could become the biggest loser of all. It seemed that I just hadn’t spent enough money to get rich quick yet. I set out to change this.
A short digression…
This is the part of my sales pitch where I tell you what this site is all about. You know the routine if you’ve surfed enough crappy websites. It’s the one where I tell you this is a review site and, me being such a nice guy, I’m going to tell you what sites to avoid and how I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart and then at the end, still out of the goodness of my heart I’m going to mention that I have found a few programs that really truly honest to God work. These honest to God sites will have a convenient link for you to click that, just by coincidence, have an affiliate number attached to them that, again just by coincidence, happens to be my affiliate number and as luck would have it, you will help me get rich quick since I’m such a good guy and have warned you about all the bad guys out there. This is my plan. I just haven’t found anything worth telling you about yet… but when I do, watch out cause I’m gonna take you for everything you have. You have been warned.
In the meantime I thought I would just tell you about all the crap out there that won’t make you rich – quickly or otherwise. Why? Well mostly because I’m a spiteful bastard and I want to get back at all those jerks who have taken my money. If I can ruin at least one of their lives it will be worth all the cash I’ve hemorrhaged. You may even pick up a few pieces of helpful info in the process. Nothing that will make you rich (I would keep that to myself if I knew of any) but maybe some tips that will save you money. The other reason is that I have a surefire plan that I need you to help me with that will probably not make either of us rich but it will piss off a lot of the internet Guru’s and this is surely a worthy goal. More on that later if I don’t run out steam.
end of digression…
So, where was I? Oh yeah, I had to spend more money in order to get rich quickly. Step one was to get more people to my site without giving Google any more money. I read an article in Forbes or some other pretentious coffee table magazine that mentioned the Google guys were loaded, really really loaded actually and I just didn’t want to add more to their burden of having to hire more people to count all that cash. Bastards. Yes I am an envious as well as spiteful bastard.
How does one get more people to their site without spending gobs of cash? There are several methods and I will mention them in passing but whatever you do – don’t use them! You have probably seen or heard about traffic generation sites like adhits or Traffic Swarm and the like. These sites are set up to rotate ads for member websites. Membership is free. Why do I say not to use them? Simply put… they don’t work. Sure you will have your site shown to hundreds or even thousands of other people. The problem is that all those other people are members just like you and they are not interested in your site any more than you are interested in their site. This would be wonderful if everybody clicked on the ads and bought something or at the very least clicked an Adsense ad. They don’t however so this is a complete waste of your time. The other reason for not doing this is that Google doesn’t like this method of advertising and if they catch you they will ban you for life. And they will catch you eventually as they seem to have the market on computer whizz kids all sewn up. Apparently having billions in pocket money can buy you the best talent. Bunch of sell outs if you ask me.
The best way to get free traffic is to write articles and stick them on GoArticles.com or any of the other article publication sites. The reason is simple. You get to include a link to your website at the bottom of your article. This does two things for you. First you may get traffic if someone reading your article clicks your link to see what your website is all about. The best reason however is that the articles can be downloaded and used on other websites which will give you both traffic and more importantly a link pointing back to your website. The more people who put your article on their website means more backlinks. The more backlinks you have the higher your Google page rank will be. The higher your page rank the higher your website will rank on the search engines and if you make it to page one on Google for your Keyword then you will be laughing all the way to the bank.
Let’s back up a bit as I have just thrown a lot of stuff at you. What the hell am I babbling on about. Keywords? Page Rank? Search Engines? Back Links? I mentioned that I spent more money in my attempt to get rich. These are the types of things that I spent the money on in pursuit of something known as SEO or for the acronym challenged “Search Engine Optimization”. This is your lucky day since I’m going to give you the benefit of my newly gained and expensive knowledge for free. Lets stop here and pick up with a new post called “SEO”.
15 comments:
Fiar said…
watch out cause I’m gonna take you for everything you have.
How can I ever trust you again? Don’t you know that every time you lie, the baby Obama cries?
October 04, 2008 11:24 AM
Grizzly said…
Fiar,
and my nose grows too!
Oh my – have I reduced you to trolling in the dungeons… ha.
Thanks for the laugh – just about spit my coffee out…
October 04, 2008 11:35 AM
Fiar | Political Humor said…
Ah yes. The perpetual cup of coffee. I imagine it being about the size of a small swimming pool.
Oh my – have I reduced you to trolling in the dungeons… ha.
Actually, someone left an intriguing comment at my site, and I clicked through. The page screamed back at me at the top of it’s lungs “N000000000000000B!!!111!!11!”
I probed deeper. The adsense units used the default naming, which showed me the date of creation. 9/30/08 and 10/01/08. Then I took a look at whois, domain purchased 9-15-08. This further confirmed the ringing in my ears subsequent to the deafening shouting when I first hit his site.
So I fired off a quick email with a few suggestions. Then I was expanding your sidebar here to find the links to a few additional recommended posts.
Then, you know me – Monkey see, monkey do and then experiment a little more. I wanted to see what you were doing when you first started this site.
Unfortunately, your writing is so damned enjoyable to read, and stupidly addictive. That should be the real warning label.
“Warning, if you actually take the time to read beyond this point, you will never escape. Crack is less addictive. Best to click an ad and get out while you still can. You have been warned.”
PS, is there a good reason why this post is named “Make Money Onine for Beginners” Last I checked the word you were looking for was “Online.” But maybe you are targeting a misspelling.
?
I have stuff to do. It’s all your fault. *shakes fist*
October 04, 2008 2:04 PM
Grizzly said…
Fiar,
Yup – I had planned on creating an affiliate site when I first started this thing but you see how things kinda went a different route – oh well the Adsense has worked well enough.
The misspelling was just a mistake but it brought in traffic so I just left it. I have enough posts with the correct phrase so the best of both worlds would apply.
I was going to mention that you should use “humour” in your blog on occasion as that is the correct spelling in most of the English speaking world except for the USA. (In Canada and UK at least) You might pick up more traffic – just a thought.
Okay – back to work…
October 04, 2008 2:50 PM
roger said…
LOL, I thought let’s review how Grizz started his journey here and I find ever sneaky Fiar here.
November 16, 2008 9:07 PM
Stock Investing News said…
Hi Grizz
I’ve been back to the drawing boars so many times I need a new drawing board, so I decided to start at the beginning and see if I can figur eit out that way.
VicW
December 14, 2008 1:40 PM
Anonymous said…
Hey Grizz,
Just wanted to drop by and thank you for your help.. I know its a long road in the making to be an internet marketer but i’m committed.. Also, noticed that you mis-spelled online in your introduction.. not sure if you are trying to rank for the keyword Onine but i’ll bet your on the first page for it! Anyways, its the least i could do..
thx,
locke
January 15, 2009 2:21 AM
WordVixen said…
Wow, I kinda thought I’d be the first non-searcher comment on this post, but apparently not! I just followed someone new to IM from a certain A-lister’s comment list back to her home turf and recommended that she come here and read your whole site from back to front- then realized that while I’ve read many of your older articles, I’ve never actually done the whole thing myself! So, here we go…
And I’m definitely wishing that I had coffee.
October 13, 2009 1:33 PM
KS said…
So this is your first post. What you said in the second to last paragraph sorta just sums everything up: Get backlinks. So why write all the other billion posts? Oh right, your scheme to take us for everything we have… haha. Your plan is coming on its 3rd year, when are you going to pull the trigger?
I wish I knew about you, Court, and Vic back then instead of in the last several months. You guys are truly changing lives. Thank you.
October 26, 2009 3:36 AM
Jim said…
This is the first time I’ve been reading your “first” post on Make Money Online For Beginners blog. Even though I have read a lot of the other posts. Started reading your blog about a year a go. But haven’t done anything about it. So two months back I decided if I ever want to make some kind of income online, it was about time to get my shit going. The point is, it works! Of course you Griz got to that some years ago, but for the rest of us… Read the posts on this blog, patience and coffee (I tried beer – didn’t work..) stop reading and start doing it. Within these two months, I have made e few webpages and blogs, about a topic am interested in and using what Griz says, get them ranked on the first page of Google and Yahoo. MSN/Bing only have my goarticle on first page (but who cares about Bing..?). Money by Adsense? Naahh, only one of my blogs have AdSense on it, and it made 10 bucks in two months. But it is a start!! So will I continue, make 1000+ blogs about stuff I don’t care about – just to make money? Well, if that in 1-2 years could pay my rent, car loan, and let me take more time of from work to be with my kids?? Hell YES I will!!! Thanks for sharing Griz!! All the best with MMO and geographically repositioning your self in life;)
Regards
Jim (alias Jarod/JWP)
November 28, 2009 6:34 AM
Snowboarding Gear said…
Hey Buddy!
Finally a new post… 1600 words!
Just stopped by to wish you and your family a Happy Holidays and more to come.
I would bet that with all the revenue from make money online your tree is probably pretty packed with goodies — not that it really matters when keeping the Spirit of the season in context…
Anyhow… Thanks to your free information on how to make money online, I too make some money online through a variety of sports related niches — one of which is a newer affiliate site with “golf” as the starter. No online affiliate earnings there yet… but I have learned to be patient and see how things propagate over time…
Take care my friend,
~Scooter
December 24, 2009 9:58 AM
Anonymous said…
yes , i happen to drop by ur blog when i search how to make money in google and eventually read websites of “how to make money online” and last here
guess i’ll keep reading since i find ur writing style really funny and addictive
happy new year btw!
Ray
February 12, 2010 4:44 PM
Grizzly said…
Happy New Year to you too Ray.
Be sure to come up for air – you’re sure slogging it out in the old post dungeon… a trooper!
February 12, 2010 7:00 PM
Fritha said…
really enjoying this site, although am having trouble with my vision now as have been on here most of the day.
July 25, 2010 8:05 AM
Freesky said…
Its been awhile since my last visit on your blog Griz and I forgot some of the important guides on MMO that you have been discussing so I think that I need to review your blog from the very beginning once again.
So you heard that you can make a bazillion dollars on the internet. Like me, you have probably spent a goodly amount of money pursuing this goal. Like me, you probably haven’t made much, probably haven’t even broke even yet.
When I started everything was just wonderful; one website after another promised me that if I bought their program and followed their instructions the money would start rolling in. Naturally I bought the program ( how to build a website was the first I think ), maybe $97 – don’t remember now, and quickly learned enough html to build a crappy looking site. Before long I found out I could spend even more money and just buy templates which were at least slightly less crappy looking than my own. I’ve forgotten how much my first templates cost but I have since spent even more money on even better crappy templates. My website has gotten less crappy looking in direct proportion to my emptying wallet.
So, templates installed I sat back and waited for the cash to roll in. My get rich scheme of choice was selling Ebooks and of course the ever popular Adsense. The Ebooks explained to other soon to be rich internet marketers how selling Ebooks on the net would make them rich. The Ebooks were supplied by the guy I bought my first crappy templates from. He assured me that I could re-sell his books and make a killing. I assured my visitors that they could make a killing selling Ebooks just like me if they bought my Ebook. This is what is known as affiliate marketing – a surefire scheme for making money online without doing any actual work. I would make 50 percent a sale, maybe 60 percent, can’t remember but it doesn’t matter as I never sold a single Ebook. Didn’t make a dime on the Adsense thing either. Apparently you can set up a crappy looking website and stock it with surefire Ebooks and nicely displayed Adsense ads and still not make money! The problem seemed to be that nobody bothered to search out my website from a small pool of 2 billion or so other crappy websites selling Ebooks and displaying Adsense ads.
Sheesh… what gives. This was supposed to be easy. Well not being the type of loser who gives up quickly or cheaply I decided that I just had to spend even more money and pay Google to place ads all over the cyber world which would direct all the would be Ebook buyers and Adsense clickers to my crappy little site. This is known as Adwords advertising and near as I can tell Google makes about a gazillion dollars off this gimmick from get rich quick guys like me. I couldn’t have spent more than say $1000 but by gosh it worked! Suddenly I had people browsing my site – yahoo – oops I mean Google! Yup, my $1000 brought me at least a couple hundred people which worked out to about $5 a head. The only problem was that these people didn’t understand the concept of clicking on my Adword ad in order to come to my crappy little site and give me money. The buggers simply stopped by and then left. Fortunately 2 of them clicked on one of my adsense ads and Google kindly reimbursed me 3 cents for my trouble. This was great as it lowered my investment in this get rich quick enterprise to $999.97 which made me feel loads better.
Half assed losers would have quit by now. Not me though… this had become a challenge and I was bound and determined to prove that I could become the biggest loser of all. It seemed that I just hadn’t spent enough money to get rich quick yet. I set out to change this.
A short digression…
This is the part of my sales pitch where I tell you what this site is all about. You know the routine if you’ve surfed enough crappy websites. It’s the one where I tell you this is a review site and, me being such a nice guy, I’m going to tell you what sites to avoid and how I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart and then at the end, still out of the goodness of my heart I’m going to mention that I have found a few programs that really truly honest to God work. These honest to God sites will have a convenient link for you to click that, just by coincidence, have an affiliate number attached to them that, again just by coincidence, happens to be my affiliate number and as luck would have it, you will help me get rich quick since I’m such a good guy and have warned you about all the bad guys out there. This is my plan. I just haven’t found anything worth telling you about yet… but when I do, watch out cause I’m gonna take you for everything you have. You have been warned.
In the meantime I thought I would just tell you about all the crap out there that won’t make you rich – quickly or otherwise. Why? Well mostly because I’m a spiteful bastard and I want to get back at all those jerks who have taken my money. If I can ruin at least one of their lives it will be worth all the cash I’ve hemorrhaged. You may even pick up a few pieces of helpful info in the process. Nothing that will make you rich (I would keep that to myself if I knew of any) but maybe some tips that will save you money. The other reason is that I have a surefire plan that I need you to help me with that will probably not make either of us rich but it will piss off a lot of the internet Guru’s and this is surely a worthy goal. More on that later if I don’t run out steam.
end of digression…
So, where was I? Oh yeah, I had to spend more money in order to get rich quickly. Step one was to get more people to my site without giving Google any more money. I read an article in Forbes or some other pretentious coffee table magazine that mentioned the Google guys were loaded, really really loaded actually and I just didn’t want to add more to their burden of having to hire more people to count all that cash. Bastards. Yes I am an envious as well as spiteful bastard.
How does one get more people to their site without spending gobs of cash? There are several methods and I will mention them in passing but whatever you do – don’t use them! You have probably seen or heard about traffic generation sites like adhits or Traffic Swarm and the like. These sites are set up to rotate ads for member websites. Membership is free. Why do I say not to use them? Simply put… they don’t work. Sure you will have your site shown to hundreds or even thousands of other people. The problem is that all those other people are members just like you and they are not interested in your site any more than you are interested in their site. This would be wonderful if everybody clicked on the ads and bought something or at the very least clicked an Adsense ad. They don’t however so this is a complete waste of your time. The other reason for not doing this is that Google doesn’t like this method of advertising and if they catch you they will ban you for life. And they will catch you eventually as they seem to have the market on computer whizz kids all sewn up. Apparently having billions in pocket money can buy you the best talent. Bunch of sell outs if you ask me.
The best way to get free traffic is to write articles and stick them on GoArticles.com or any of the other article publication sites. The reason is simple. You get to include a link to your website at the bottom of your article. This does two things for you. First you may get traffic if someone reading your article clicks your link to see what your website is all about. The best reason however is that the articles can be downloaded and used on other websites which will give you both traffic and more importantly a link pointing back to your website. The more people who put your article on their website means more backlinks. The more backlinks you have the higher your Google page rank will be. The higher your page rank the higher your website will rank on the search engines and if you make it to page one on Google for your Keyword then you will be laughing all the way to the bank.
Let’s back up a bit as I have just thrown a lot of stuff at you. What the hell am I babbling on about. Keywords? Page Rank? Search Engines? Back Links? I mentioned that I spent more money in my attempt to get rich. These are the types of things that I spent the money on in pursuit of something known as SEO or for the acronym challenged “Search Engine Optimization”. This is your lucky day since I’m going to give you the benefit of my newly gained and expensive knowledge for free. Lets stop here and pick up with a new post called “SEO”.
15 comments:
Fiar said…
watch out cause I’m gonna take you for everything you have.
How can I ever trust you again? Don’t you know that every time you lie, the baby Obama cries?
October 04, 2008 11:24 AM
Grizzly said…
Fiar,
and my nose grows too!
Oh my – have I reduced you to trolling in the dungeons… ha.
Thanks for the laugh – just about spit my coffee out…
October 04, 2008 11:35 AM
Fiar | Political Humor said…
Ah yes. The perpetual cup of coffee. I imagine it being about the size of a small swimming pool.
Oh my – have I reduced you to trolling in the dungeons… ha.
Actually, someone left an intriguing comment at my site, and I clicked through. The page screamed back at me at the top of it’s lungs “N000000000000000B!!!111!!11!”
I probed deeper. The adsense units used the default naming, which showed me the date of creation. 9/30/08 and 10/01/08. Then I took a look at whois, domain purchased 9-15-08. This further confirmed the ringing in my ears subsequent to the deafening shouting when I first hit his site.
So I fired off a quick email with a few suggestions. Then I was expanding your sidebar here to find the links to a few additional recommended posts.
Then, you know me – Monkey see, monkey do and then experiment a little more. I wanted to see what you were doing when you first started this site.
Unfortunately, your writing is so damned enjoyable to read, and stupidly addictive. That should be the real warning label.
“Warning, if you actually take the time to read beyond this point, you will never escape. Crack is less addictive. Best to click an ad and get out while you still can. You have been warned.”
PS, is there a good reason why this post is named “Make Money Onine for Beginners” Last I checked the word you were looking for was “Online.” But maybe you are targeting a misspelling.
?
I have stuff to do. It’s all your fault. *shakes fist*
October 04, 2008 2:04 PM
Grizzly said…
Fiar,
Yup – I had planned on creating an affiliate site when I first started this thing but you see how things kinda went a different route – oh well the Adsense has worked well enough.
The misspelling was just a mistake but it brought in traffic so I just left it. I have enough posts with the correct phrase so the best of both worlds would apply.
I was going to mention that you should use “humour” in your blog on occasion as that is the correct spelling in most of the English speaking world except for the USA. (In Canada and UK at least) You might pick up more traffic – just a thought.
Okay – back to work…
October 04, 2008 2:50 PM
roger said…
LOL, I thought let’s review how Grizz started his journey here and I find ever sneaky Fiar here.
November 16, 2008 9:07 PM
Stock Investing News said…
Hi Grizz
I’ve been back to the drawing boars so many times I need a new drawing board, so I decided to start at the beginning and see if I can figur eit out that way.
VicW
December 14, 2008 1:40 PM
Anonymous said…
Hey Grizz,
Just wanted to drop by and thank you for your help.. I know its a long road in the making to be an internet marketer but i’m committed.. Also, noticed that you mis-spelled online in your introduction.. not sure if you are trying to rank for the keyword Onine but i’ll bet your on the first page for it! Anyways, its the least i could do..
thx,
locke
January 15, 2009 2:21 AM
WordVixen said…
Wow, I kinda thought I’d be the first non-searcher comment on this post, but apparently not! I just followed someone new to IM from a certain A-lister’s comment list back to her home turf and recommended that she come here and read your whole site from back to front- then realized that while I’ve read many of your older articles, I’ve never actually done the whole thing myself! So, here we go…
And I’m definitely wishing that I had coffee.
October 13, 2009 1:33 PM
KS said…
So this is your first post. What you said in the second to last paragraph sorta just sums everything up: Get backlinks. So why write all the other billion posts? Oh right, your scheme to take us for everything we have… haha. Your plan is coming on its 3rd year, when are you going to pull the trigger?
I wish I knew about you, Court, and Vic back then instead of in the last several months. You guys are truly changing lives. Thank you.
October 26, 2009 3:36 AM
Jim said…
This is the first time I’ve been reading your “first” post on Make Money Online For Beginners blog. Even though I have read a lot of the other posts. Started reading your blog about a year a go. But haven’t done anything about it. So two months back I decided if I ever want to make some kind of income online, it was about time to get my shit going. The point is, it works! Of course you Griz got to that some years ago, but for the rest of us… Read the posts on this blog, patience and coffee (I tried beer – didn’t work..) stop reading and start doing it. Within these two months, I have made e few webpages and blogs, about a topic am interested in and using what Griz says, get them ranked on the first page of Google and Yahoo. MSN/Bing only have my goarticle on first page (but who cares about Bing..?). Money by Adsense? Naahh, only one of my blogs have AdSense on it, and it made 10 bucks in two months. But it is a start!! So will I continue, make 1000+ blogs about stuff I don’t care about – just to make money? Well, if that in 1-2 years could pay my rent, car loan, and let me take more time of from work to be with my kids?? Hell YES I will!!! Thanks for sharing Griz!! All the best with MMO and geographically repositioning your self in life;)
Regards
Jim (alias Jarod/JWP)
November 28, 2009 6:34 AM
Snowboarding Gear said…
Hey Buddy!
Finally a new post… 1600 words!
Just stopped by to wish you and your family a Happy Holidays and more to come.
I would bet that with all the revenue from make money online your tree is probably pretty packed with goodies — not that it really matters when keeping the Spirit of the season in context…
Anyhow… Thanks to your free information on how to make money online, I too make some money online through a variety of sports related niches — one of which is a newer affiliate site with “golf” as the starter. No online affiliate earnings there yet… but I have learned to be patient and see how things propagate over time…
Take care my friend,
~Scooter
December 24, 2009 9:58 AM
Anonymous said…
yes , i happen to drop by ur blog when i search how to make money in google and eventually read websites of “how to make money online” and last here
guess i’ll keep reading since i find ur writing style really funny and addictive
happy new year btw!
Ray
February 12, 2010 4:44 PM
Grizzly said…
Happy New Year to you too Ray.
Be sure to come up for air – you’re sure slogging it out in the old post dungeon… a trooper!
February 12, 2010 7:00 PM
Fritha said…
really enjoying this site, although am having trouble with my vision now as have been on here most of the day.
July 25, 2010 8:05 AM
Freesky said…
Its been awhile since my last visit on your blog Griz and I forgot some of the important guides on MMO that you have been discussing so I think that I need to review your blog from the very beginning once again.